Introductions And Such

Hello all. Many thanks to Mr. Tennant for so freely and generously giving of his time to write that little introduction... My name is spiderboris and this is a blog that will mostly be about Doctor Who. Far from wanting to bore you all with my life story, the blog as it currently stands will comprise itself of mostly essay-shaped things with pictures slotted in that you might want to call reviews. Although this is only if your definition of a review is something that's had its eyes burned out with a blowtorch like that girl in Hostel and is just screaming and screaming and screaming.

And then it goes and throws itself in front of a train. That’s kind of like the sort of thing you should expect. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And also along the way, a significant amount of piss-taking. Upon embarking upon the idea of this Who-related blog I started out writing some very verbose, serious and pseudo-intellectual reviews of specific Doctor Who episodes but very quickly realised that this would perhaps mean that I would become sucked into the terrifying vortex of having to think about and watch Doctor Who twenty-four hours a day. Cos let’s face it, if you’re reading this then you’re probably also in that dark place.

I understand your plight having been there myself but I have to say that, having moved through this particular stage of addiction and checked myself into a clinic in Arizona where, upon meeting up with Robbie Williams and developing a quite chronic espresso, Red Bull and UFO-hunting addiction, I can safely say that I have now been cured of the evils of Doctor Who and now vow to spend only ten hours a day writing complete and utter bollocks about it in this here blog. If you, gentle soul, are still trapped in that hellish half-life existence of being a hopelesss Who addict, then I can offer only these sage words of advice - never mind.

Chin up. You could have been obsessed with Star Wars! Then I would have thought you were a total tosspot!

The first big proper entry then reviews-wise will be my assassination - sorry, appraisal - of this year’s Christmas larkaround The Next Doctor, but before all of that and just to give you a taster of the sort of multifaced delights yet to come, here’s a little article I wrote sometime back in 2008 (perhaps you can be more anal than I in this instance and can date it by the episode I’m about to mention) for amazon.co.uk (a hugely obscure, cool and underground site I occasionally do some scribbling and discussing on cos I’m like, so leftfield) taking a halfway serious look at the first half of Torchwood’s second season.

Except they never published it - perhaps because it was a crap review by their standards (arguable, certainly) or maybe because it was too long and too unnecessarily negative and bitchy. And perhaps because it was supposed to be a review of the Torchwood season two boxset which wasn’t anywhere near out yet, seeing as they were only up to the episode Reset on TV at the time…

And despite that, eight or so random folks had already manhandled the episodes thus far with some kind and unkind (I think mostly positive, though) words. Why does Amazon allow you to review things that aren’t even out yet? Is there some arcane logic in this, or is it merely a waste of my time and yours worrying about it?

There isn't and it is. Here’s comes the review as I writed it with my own two fingers...

Although I’ll have to keep you all on tenterhooks for a little moment - since, thanks to the recent magic of my figuring out how to put pictures into the whole shebang (this blog would be even duller and less amusing than it is if it didn’t have any pictures in) we shall now detour into a short interlude (I fear there may be many of them coming, perhaps many more pointless picture-related interludes than actual user-generated content) where we examine the dramatic goings-on at the first big glossy Torchwood photoshoot. The excitement is so excited about this it can barely even begin itself!